Holden PD Rescues Rogue Pig On The Run
Let's just go ahead and get the joke out of the way right now: Yes, the Holden Police Department did, indeed, bring home the bacon this week, as they rescued a rogue pig on the run!
Holden Police Chief, Chris Greeley, gave us the skinny on exactly what went down...on the farm... this Wednesday.
"My Lieutenant, Eddie Benjamin, and I received a report of a pig jogging down the road. Jogging may not be the word; walking, trotting down the road, not traveling by car. And since these things always interest the police...you know, it's kind of one of our own, if you think about it...we immediately responded to the area, where we located said pig in someone's yard."
The perp had pooped all over the yard, leaving steaming piles of stink in its wake. Something had to be done, and quickly before more of a mess was made.
Greeley went on to explain how they came to coax the animal into custody.
"Well, I always travel with snacks... just in case there's an emergency. I have Frosted Flakes, muffins, you know, I just want to be ready."
Apparently, the pig was a fan of generic Rice Krispies, and was happy as, well..."a pig in mud" to snap, crackle, and stop for a moment, as Greeley helped feed it straight from the box.
When asked if his time with the department had sufficiently trained him in the art of animal apprehension, Greeley said:
"I think I'm pretty well-traveled. I've been around. I spoke to the pig in its native tongue. We bonded."
Despite making a new friend, Chief Greeley says he did decline to offer the pig a ride home in his cruiser, instead opting to escort it home on foot.
"We tried to first lasso it. It would have made a good video. That didn't go so well."
Instead, Greeley said that while curiosity may have killed the cat, in the case of a swine, it's actually quite helpful.
"Pigs are smarter than people give them credit for, and they're friendly. And they're curious. As we were going next door to see where it came from, it just sort of followed us. When we located its pen, it recognized that it was home. So Lt. Benjamin opened the door and the pig went in. It was a good day."
Greeley says they were able to locate the pig's owner, who was unaware that her piggy went a-wandering.
The Chief said calls like this one, while not a daily occurrence, are something the Holden PD deals with on a regular basis.
"I can't say it's an everyday thing, because now as the Police Chief I work during the day so I'm not dealing with a lot of livestock in the traditional sense. But as I'm coming back from the pig, there were right on the side of the road 6 or 8 turkeys. And then right as I turn down another road, there was a turkey hopping on one leg. I don't know if he was trying to impress me, but I ignored him and just kept right on going. You know, I've only got so much time during the day."
It's all in a day's work. I guess you could say, "swine doesn't pay, " at least not in Holden.