The Ten Commandments Of Maine Lobster
Is there any doubt that lobster is Maine's most famous product and overall favorite food? I mean, those "folks from away" don't travel for hundreds of miles to get black flies in their teeth.
We Mainers know that there's certain dos and don'ts when it comes to preparing, serving up, and then eating our favorite crustacean type food. So, before you strap on that "I LOVE MAINE" bib, take note and get it right. Sit up straight, and eat like a Mainer!
THOU SHALT NOT COOK LOBSTER IN POND WATER
While "out to camp" it may be tempting to send Little Jimmy down to the dock to bring up a pail of water to cook those high priced lobsters in, but that's going to make them taste like they were pulled from the bottom of a swamp. Tell Uncle Dave to take the car down to the town landing to get some real salt water!
THOU SHALT NOT EAT LOBSTER IN A FANCY RESTAURANT
Lobster was meant to eat at a picnic table, no doubt about it. Preferably outdoors with the ever watchful eye of a seagull on you.
THOU SHALT NOT NOT EAT THE RUBBER-BANDS
If your lobster came has rubber-bands wrapped around the claws, do not eat them, even after cooking. Save them for the food war that will develop later when you mistakenly squirt Little Jimmy with lobster juice.
THOU SHALT NOT USE A HAMMER OR AXE TO BREAK THE CLAWS
Even if you're not serving up walnuts or pecans with your meal, use a nutcracker to break open the claws. You can call the culinary tool a claw-cracker for the day if it makes you feel better.
THOU SHALT NEVER BRING A LOBSTER IN FROM OUT-OF-STATE
It's sacrilegious, and we hear that Massachusetts lobsters are red even before you cook them.
THOU SHALT NOT COMPLAIN TO THE SERVER ABOUT "THE GREEN STUFF"
It's called Tomalley, and it's a natural occurrence when "waste" inside of a lobster is cooked. Some call it a delicacy, others call it gross. But whatever you do, remember what it is and don't complain to your server about it, because more than likely he or she lives here and would be more than happy to put the episode on social media. Then, word would eventually make it to the local news media and you'll end up being very well known and not in a good light. Yes, this really happened.
THOU SHALT NEVER ORDER A "LAZY LOBSTER'
True Mainers would never pay someone else to crack and clean their lobster. A hard worker Mainer is never shy about pulling apart dinner, and putting the effort in to produce a nice little pile of meat on his or her plate before eventually diggin' in. Thus the reason Red Lobster Restaurants closed up their doors and blew out of town.. Speaking of which.....
THOU SHALL HAVE THE COURAGE TO PUT A LIVE LOBSTER INTO A POT OF BOILING WATER
Hey, you're in Maine. Act like a Mainer and nut up.
THOU SHALT NOT THINK TOO HARD WHILST CHOOSING EITHER SOFT OR HARD SHELL
Hard shell lobsters are packed solid with meat which may be a little more dense in texture than soft shell, which on the other hand may have less meat but a little more tender in feel. Soft shell lobsters may yield less meat than hard shell. Hard shells may make you work a little harder than soft for your dinner. Bottom line - BOTH taste like lobster, and you should be darn glad that you're eating one, in Maine!
THOU SHALT NOT APPROACH SOMEONE WHO'S EATING LOBSTER AND ASK, "MIND IF I GRAB A PIECE OF TAIL?"
If you're truly worried about another asking this while you're eating, then we suggest going with the lobster roll instead.