If you've been driving for any length of time, then you probably have owned or driven in a junker! Here are some ways you can know for sure that your car is one.

Here are some signs that your car falls into the ole "crapola" category.

  1. Vegetation Growth - Are there trees, bushes, or grass growing up through the engine compartment, floorboard, or trunk area of your beater?
  2. Bill Hooptidoo - Does Bill still camp out in what's left of the back seat of your junker? Or has the constant rain coming in through the broken windows caused him to move out?
  3. Cats and Mice - Is there mouse poop sprinkled on the dash, on the floor, in the exposed foam from where the seat cushions were? What about 6 meowing kittens crying for their mother? (How many cat litters actually experienced life in that thing?)
  4. Charity - Did a local 501c3 run the other way when they saw the car? When Cars for Cash say 'No', need we say more?
  5. Shotgun Holes - Are there so many shotgun holes in the side, top, and underbelly so numerous that you quit counting?
  6. Rust - Is there more rust than actual body metal?
  7. Weed Wacker - Are the weeds so grown up underneath that your weed wacker can't handle them anymore?

Yep, I'd say if you answered yes to any one of these questions then you can mark it down that you have a junk car. And stop lying to yourself and telling yourself that you're gonna fix it up.

It's probably beyond that, mate.

Best thing to do at this point is to drag it onto your front lawn, chop the top off, fill it full of organic soil and make a huge community garden out of it. At least it will be good for something.