We’ve heard of going postal and all, but recently a local Maineiac went monkey nuts rubber kraut; Siamese thrift store; rumple milkman; I can’t breathe in here, man! Actually what we meant is: a local resident with Tourette syndrome, a touch of claustrophobia, a mean streak and perhaps even a mild case of dyslexia may now have to answer to federal charges after threatening to go postal in, well, a post office.

Authorities say that 42-year-old Wayne Haskell strolled in to a local post office carrying a package that had been returned to him because he accidentally wrote the wrong address on it. However, the man’s temper started to flare after he was made aware that in order to ship his package with the correct address, he would have to pay additional postage.

Well, that didn’t settle very well with ol’ Haskell, who immediately began hissin-and-spitting in the middle of the post office like an alley cat in heat; threatening to go home to get his AR-15 and then come back to shoot the place up. Incidentally, that is when the postal inspector called police, who met Haskell at his home a short time later.

When officers questioned Haskell about his threat to shoot up the post office, the man told them that he had no idea what an AR-15 was and that things like that often came out of his mouth because he suffers from Tourette’s. Even still, officers were forced to arrest Haskell for terrorizing – and that’s when things took a turn for the worse.

“I had difficulty getting him in the car because of his Tourette’s and him getting worked up, and then he said he was getting claustrophobic,” said Deputy Sheriff Mark Lloyd. “I initially got him into my cruiser, but he was flailing around and we were worried he might hurt himself…so then Holden came over with a cruiser with a cage, but that didn’t work.”

Officers say that Haskell was fine once they got him to the jail but for whatever reason, being in the back of the squad car had him acting like a caged animal that had just be sprayed with a water hose.

Haskell was released from jail on a $60 bond but he could face federal charges depending on the verdict of a federal postal inspector. Man, talk about your mouth getting you into trouble!