Drug dealers should know by now that when it comes to drug smuggling, it doesn’t matter what orifice of the body they use to attempt to hide the goods, police are not at all shy when it comes to using the hands of justice to pull out any illegal contraband.

That is exactly what Maine State Police say they did over the weekend when an arrest of a New York woman uncovered more than 600 oxycodone pills that she was transporting in, well, to avoid being crude, where the sun doesn’t shine.

According to the arrest report, police received a tip from one of their sources that indicated that a drug deal with a street value of over $20,000 was going to happen sometime over the weekend at a local convenience store. On Saturday night, Authorities say they arrested 28-year-old Ebony Howard, who after undergoing an extensive cavity search, was found to have 645 pills strategically lodged in the private crevices of her body.

Incidentally, Howard was taken to a nearby jail where she was charged with drug trafficking. Now, we’re not entirely sure how one goes about stuffing their body full of narcotics and to be perfectly honest, we really don’t want to know. However, in our opinion, any officer that is forced to go back door diving for incriminating evidence should not only be entitled to hazard pay but they should also receive the highest medal of honor available for going beyond the call of doodie.

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