Oven Mitt of the All-Powerful Infinity Gauntlet Recalled for Not Being Powerful Enough to Withstand Warm Temperatures
The Infinity Gauntlet. An ageless weapon of immense, maybe incalculable power. Once worn, its owner essentially becomes a god. They control the elemental forces of space, time, reality, mind, soul, and power. One Infinity Gem wields unlimited energy. All six combined cannot be stopped by anything or anyone in the known universe.
Just don’t stick them near an oven. Those things are hot!
This is something that members of the subscription service Loot Crate learned the hard way this month. They received an oven mitt resembling the Infinity Gauntlet in their May crate, but it seems that the damn thing was not built to perform its intended function properly. After several complaints, the company issued a recall of the item. Their email to customers, via Bleeding Cool:
Some Looters have complained that their oven mitt failed to resist oven temperature items during normal use. Based on these reports, we believe it’s possible some of the oven mitts sent in your Loot Crates will not withstand the high temperatures stated in the Loot Crate magazine and may pose a safety hazard, including a risk of burns. Please IMMEDIATELY STOP USING THIS PRODUCT AND CAREFULLY SECURE IT FROM USE BY OTHERS.
Yes, it seems that the Infinity Gauntlet has a weakness, and that weakness is above average warmth.
Loot Crate promised its customers “a replacement product of equal or greater value, or a sufficient refund,” so that’s good at least. Still, Thanos must be pissed. He’s spent four years and counting trying to acquire this damn Infinity Gauntlet, and the stupid thing can’t even go near a stove? What a bummer.
The good news is we now know how Avengers: Infinity War ends: The Avengers force Thanos to remove a quiche from the broiler, and it burns him. Boom. Bye bye Thanos. This is probably why they’re changing the title of the second Infinity War. Once the Avengers find an oven, the war ends very quickly.